“Karavan”, #02, 09/01/2009

   In Kazakhstan the use of this long-standing practice and tradition of bride kidnapping is increasing. It occurs among poor, young people wishing to settle down to married life, but who have no funds for the wedding, consider it proud. The girls in these situations have a different opinion...
   I remember from my childhood when my relatives told a horrible story of an abduction of a bride by a guy hopelessly in love.
   It was in a rural area. At first he was going to promise her a carefree good life, and his devotion and eternal love. And then the guy got the idea to steal her. He decided to entice her out of the house. A pretext to entice her was common: the celebration of a birthday with an acquaintance. The birthday celebration turned out smoothly on the day with a combination of a marriage. After he kidnapped her she killed herself because she could not stand the shame. The bride's parents filed a statement a statement about the kidnapping with the police, but he was later released.
   As in those days, and in modern times, bride kidnapping is mostly a tribute to tradition. But in recent years, this tradition has increasingly become of a criminal nature.
   For example, there are persistent rumors that in Almaty, and the Zhambyl and South Kazakhstan regions, brides have been stolen without mutual consent of the young bride. It is often at the request of the groom and often one-sided. However, such stories rarely reach the police or go to trial.
 

   In the Kyzylorda area, through the monitoring of our correspondent, almost every other marriage takes place that the so-called abduction of the bride. However, over the past five years there have been no treatments or statements on this matter with the Department of Internal Affairs. People prefer to solve everything peacefully. Naturally, bride kidnapping occurs mostly among boys from poor families - it is easier to organize a small event than a magnificent wedding. In most cases, “stealing” occurs by mutual agreement, often in cases where the bride is finding it increasingly difficult to hide their “interesting situation”.
   According to the press service of oblast, the Department of Internal Affairs reported that there was only one case where the missing girl’s mother verbally reported her missing to the police, but the next day the statement was abandoned... and even the police were invited to the wedding. Interestingly, the recent bride's parents have offered for their daughters to “run”, again for reasons of economy. So if the institute works to eradicate the abduction of brides they will find it problematic, at least for now, because it comes from the times of our ancestors.

   Meanwhile, forced marriage by bride abduction sometimes occurs in very wild forms, especially in the south, says the head of the Legal Center for Women's Initiatives “Sana Sezim”, Khadicha Abysheva.
   More than 3500 women have sought the Legal Center in the past two years, and about half had been stolen or raped by their future spouses. This year alone, the public organization called about 70 young women who did not want to come to terms with their fate. However, only in two cases, did the victims go to court and pursue prosecution of their bride-kidnappers.
   In the mountains there are a significant amount of cases where brides have been kidnapped and raped.
   Basically, men steal young girls who, for fear of shame, allow it. This is contributed to by prejudice in a society where even the parents of the “bride” agree to marry them rather than pursue trials with the kidnappers.
   However, in the South Kazakhstan region there was one case where a businessman kidnapped a 38-year-old woman, also a highly successful entrepreneur. For about a week he kept her locked up, seeking consent to marry. But the woman remained firm, but still has not contacted the police.

   Despite the notorious “southern mentality”, bride kidnapping in Zhambyl region, for example, has been quite rare. And if there are cases, then most of them have serious consequences for the hapless bridegroom and their parents. Today, girls are not afraid of the “shame” of returning. And the bride's parents, in case of return, support the daughter keeping not only her honor, but also, possibly, her life. They bear her financial responsibility.
   The last two cases that occurred in the Zhambyl region were one and a half months ago. The “thieves” got serious financial penalties. All other “stolen” girls were no more than a way out of situations where the young want to create a family, and money for all the rituals there. Then the groom and the bride's family declared that the bride stolen, and calmly give the money for the wedding.

   The director of the Center for Gender Studies in Almaty, Svetlana Shakirova, believes that the practice of bride theft is not only in Kazakhstan, but also in the Caucasus and in Central Asia, and before that it was in Tatarstan and Bashkortostan.
   Do not dare to affirm with certainty that this is a feature of the nomadic, Muslim, Turkish, Asian or Eurasian culture. This is definitely an ancient relic, when women were given, and taken away as a trophy in wars between the tribes and peoples.
   Remember Pechorin and Belu, the girls from Russian literature. Even in the English novel “Pride and prejudice” Jane Austen's sister ran away with a young man, who in fact, just stole her!
   Previously, when I heard stories of women who were stolen, I was very outraged that a girl was treated like a sheep, thrown in the trunk and taken to another village. Even when she resists, crying, she is held, urged into the house of the groom like a farce with a table and covered with a white scarf. Then she is broken under pressure of the aunts and grandmothers: “We were also stolen. Nothing bad will happen.” That's the involvement and participation of women I hate the most! When a close friend defrauds the victim out of the house, where young women are beginning to talk up the groom, who is hiding somewhere, in another room... And even if his grandmother would lie at the threshold so as not to release the girl from the house (who finds that overtaking a person, especially an older person, to be a sin) it is clear that the stolen girl will have to come to terms with her fate.
   I do not approve of bride theft and do not find it justified under any circumstances - either by the will of the bride or against her will. If a family has no money for the wedding, you can limit it to a modest meal. If a man has love in his eyes he must deal with this problem and make an effort to please her. To steal a woman is mean.

   If bride theft, as expressed by lawyers, is a practice that is not common, it often becomes an obstacle to the wedding. Our editors accidentally found a letter of a young man named Alex from Taraz, addressed to the Head of State. This guy asked the President to assist him in obtaining a loan of 500 thousand dollars. According to Alexei, a recent convert to Islam, he needs the credit to pay for his dowry to the bride's parents to open a business to feed their young family. At the bottom of the letter was written the phone number of the guy and his girl. We contacted the young man and his lover. We question why, if the young people love each other, they can not marry without a dowry. They did not respond. We were told only that the wedding and dowry are earnings.

   Meanwhile, as it turned out, young people today do not see bride theft as anything criminal! Moreover, the results of a sociological survey, conducted among young aged 18 to 25 years, showed that almost 80 per cent of young people thought the theft of the bride was a completely legitimate way to build a family. In fact, Article 125 of the Criminal Code says that "kidnapping" can result in four to seven years in prison. The same act, committed by a group of people, can result in 10 to 15 years with confiscation of property.
   This summer, human rights non-governmental organizations have initiated the introduction a supplement to the current 125th article of the Penal Code "bride kidnapping". This tradition blatantly has an illegal tint.
   Murat Telibekov, of the Union of Muslims of Kazakhstan:
   Theft and dowries - these concepts do not conform to Islamic ethics and Islamic traditions. Indeed, Islam strongly deplores acts of violence against women. The custom of bride theft goes back more in the folk tradition than religious ideas. And Mullahs, sadly, have not given the matter sufficient attention.
   Dowries are archaic, which for some reason also, many associated with Islam; although, in fact, they do not have any relation to it. On the contrary, in the traditionally Muslim countries another tradition spread in which to ease the burden of wedding costs under a big wedding at 100-500 pairs. The costs are borne by the State or the sheikh. This will not only alleviate the material for poor families, but also result in a kind of call to modesty, asceticism, which oppose when people use irrational means cultivate extravagancy.
   Haib Mufti Muhammad Husayn Haji Alsabekov, the first Deputy Chairman of the Council of Mufti of Central Asia and the Spiritual Administration of Muslims of Kazakhstan:
   - In the Muslim marriage contract the terms are stated. The most important prerequisite is the agreement on both sides. That is, if a girl does not agree to marry, that marriage is not considered valid. Any force would be considered violence. In connection with violence or force, the imam or mullah does not have the right to approve such marriages.
   Out of the Family Code of Kyrgyzstan, in November last year, marriageable age was suggested.
   According to the UNDP, Nurgul Asylbekovoy, in Soviet times marriages were only allowed in adulthood, unless in exceptional cases.
   “At that time it was normal. Now many aren’t,” referring to an article about very young girls being stolen, who even did not manage to finish school.
   Deputy chairman of the committee on youth, gender policy, culture, and sport, Jogorku Kenesh Cholpon Abdullaeva, notes that this situation is common in the southern regions of Kyrgyzstan.
   “According to studies, every third child is illegitimate because many girls are married, even without a passport.

   In eastern India, in the Bihar State, there is still the custom of abducting your bride. Every year there are hundreds of young people who disappear, which after two or three weeks arrive at home with their young wives.
   Bihar is one of the poorest regions in India, so the majority of its population lives in absolute poverty. There is the slightest possibility of parents sending their sons off before they are of age and the girls stay at home. So the demographic shift has led many grooms to claim at least two brides.
   Here it is the bride's parents who find those to steal their daughters.
   All appeals to the court after violent marriages were decided in favor of the woman for many years without any chance for the hapless groom. Since 1980, the state of Bihar has been officially terminated and no such marriages can occur.