“Panorama Shymkent”, #15 (922), 11/04/2008
E. Berdigalieva

   30-year-old Nadezhda Averkin took a few months before she decided to apply to the Court with a statement on her husband, who had systematically subjected her to beatings. Everything started with the background.
   DON’T TOLERATE, DON’T LOVE – She had hope after a divorce from first husband and was able to keep her child in her arms. As it seemed, one would use all caution and wisdom when remarrying. She decided on a man who worked as a “KamAZ” driver, and earned a good amount. He even started an extension to their house they share when a child was born. Outwardly, this only reinforces the credibility of those around him as a good family man. But this second man would at the slightest provocation go into an attack of anger, which usually ended in assault. Bruises, contusions, dislocations, traces of bites were all implications that this fantasy husband was getting sick, but the fear surrounding the condemnation of her second marriage and the fear of her husband's response was stronger, and the woman hid all of these family scandals. One drop would overfill the cup of patience, which led to some serious escapades of her husband against the children.
   When Mladshenky was born he was often ill. One night, she woke up from his crying, and saw with horror that her husband had methodically soaked the child with cold water from the kettle. “I want to reassure him”, he answered. On another occasion he had his eyes on the child’s spine, she told the employees of the center “Sana Sezim”. She called their confidential hotline after seeing their ad in the newspaper. Then she came into the office.
   We made a lot of psychological and moral effort to address the woman, who was facing degradation from her husband, permanent physical violence causing fear and secrecy, and whose the children were being mocked. Even when talking about his inappropriate behavior, the victim blamed herself more, and justified it, saying that he was the breadwinner of the family and pays for such treatment. She accused the precinct, who supposedly did not take on her issues. In general, the woman was mentally crushed and frightened, her doubts torn... “Firstly, we must give her the feeling that she is safe, and tell her of her rights, and the possibilities for their implementation,” says Shahklo Yusupzhanova and Vera Zakutnyaya, employees of NGO “Sana Sezim”.
   This is a typical example of how a husband, having an inherently flawed personality, acts at the expense of his second half. He instilled fear and uncertainty on the victim. The woman does not change the attitude of him or the attitude of her surroundings, concludes psychologist B. Zakutnyaya. What is most terrible is that children growing up in an atmosphere of merciless adopt it for standard towards other adults, and projects it further in his life.
   The known formula of Freudian criminology confirms: rapists often come from those who had the experience in the childhood with themselves. This is shown through the known monstrous family of Rosemary and her husband, Frederick West of the English town of Gloucester. They were sentenced to life imprisonment for killing 10 girls and young women, including their two daughters. Brutal murder was preceded by preliminary implicated in sex abuse. The couple, as a result found, was from low class families that drank a lot and where the fist and belt reigned. Fred as a child was beaten and sexually abused by his father, and Rosemary as a child survived the same from strangers, but for fear of parental wrath, they kept their secret troubles. And in turn that was their children's misery and experience, which is now known to all of humanity.
   At “Sana Sezim” she was helped to consider the situation from different sides, to rethink her personal self-esteem, and her responsibility for children. Now she looks forward to the results of her treatment in court. She explained it was reported that the man had been released from the army. Now the court will look at the relationship of this fact with his rowdy behavior. The personnel constantly supported her morally and psychologically. They provide examples from their own practices, when in the process of exposure of such scandals, others experienced fear from their aggressor, who inevitability got punishment before the law, and censure by the friends and the public. To create a climate of generalized intolerance of violence - this is what the efforts of public and human rights organizations are for. But each situation on its own has individual and mixed results. She has opted for a divorce, finding it more acceptable in his case. The staff the center, along with their understanding of everyday situations, is looking for humane and reasonable solutions that meet the interests of applicants. It happens so that the conflicted parties come as a result of discussions and consultations of reconciliation. Some couples even parted, not to deny the respect of their children continue to treat them in reverence. But in any case, the choice was available for those who asked for help.
   Talking STATISTICS - According to the Center “Sana Sezim”, over the past two year their hotline has received more than 2500 calls from women: 937 were victims of psychological violence, 823 of physical, 450 of economic, and 381 of sexual violence. 91% of applications suffered for a long time (from 1 to 5 years minimum) for a variety of reasons: lack of information about support services, various fears, supported by societal attitudes about the role and rights of women in contemporary society.
   But as evidenced by the formal legal statistics: during two months in 2008 in South Kazakhstan 1258 crimes were recorded, of which 278, or 21%, were crimes committed against women. In general, women are victims of economic crime - robbery, theft, fraud. The second type is crimes of violence against them. In the past three years, crime against women has decreased markedly. Reasons? There is growing awareness, the openness of the society on the legal protection of women is changing for the better through public awareness of these issues, NGOs are actively connected to the social protection of women and children by helping in the training schools, with our employees. Nevertheless, the negotiability of women who are victims of domestic violence in regards to law enforcement remains latent, hidden. One might say that only have of victims appeal to law enforcement, said Alma Segizbaeva, leader of the Department of Internal Affairs unit to protect women from violence. In Shymkent, by the way, there is a rehabilitation center for victims of violence, like in Almaty and Taldykorgan. Most women do not want to leave their house because of the mentality of the prevailing stereotype of the family. Many endure domestic violence because they are economically dependent on their husband. With 3-4 children, the woman chooses one of two evils: the husband’s rowdiness or her children. So it is important, of course, to prevent a family scandal even at the stage of the first cracks in the relationship. A timely appeal to psychologists at these crisis centers is needed.
   PAST ITS NOT catch - Still, it is believed that the first healing tool for women is a belief in her happiness and her misery too. According to the Constitution of the Republic of Kazakhstan, the dignity of every human being is inviolable. Responsibility for violence against another person breaks both criminal and administrative Code. For example, Article 79-5 Code of the Republic of Kazakhstan “On Administrative Violations”, in force since January this year, provides for fines and administrative detention to 10 days “for obscene language, harassment, humiliation, damage or desecration of household items and other actions that express contempt for the citizens with the offender in family relationships, committed in the home”. There is also the bill “On the prevention of domestic violence”, relating to the interests of protecting women from domestic violence, not only from the spouse, but other relatives. But not only legislative priorities serve as a barrier to these negative social phenomena. Important attention and support is needed for people living nearby.
   Fatima K. is the mother of five children, one of which has been disabled since childhood. A man takes the woman and the money she has earned selling her own products in a small shop. In the event of failure to do so he beats and humiliates her. In addition to his cynicism and ill-treatment he has been living with a lover in front of his wife and children. The woman entered with her brothers, their father and the grandson with disabilities, the Legal Center “Sana Sezim” where she had psychological help. They surrounded her and the children with care and attention. She believes that the past cannot catch them. We will not let it, but a happy ending it was not because of the process of disintegration of the family. Thanks to the support of others, it did not take away her extra forces, nerves, and self-esteem.
   With good luck another young couple was able to separate and the children stayed with her husband. “Sana Sezim” helped Gulnara to visit with the children. The meetings were in a common area with her husband and children, and after interviews with psychologists, a lawyer, the wife realized that they have a chance to keep the family together. To see the positive alternative to life - that is the essence of real assistance to women in distress.