Get Adobe Flash player



Our partners

User login



Do not put up with the role of the victim

«Rabat» №32, 10 August 10, 2011

The psychologist of Legal Center for Women’s Initiatives «Sana Sezim», Vera Zakutnyaya shares her point of view about Domestic Violence with Newspaper “Rabat”.

Domestic Violence is assimilated the method of behavior. It is often transmitted from parents to children, and they have formed a stereotype of violent method of solving problems: the boy was raised a disparaging view of women, the traditional public opinion about the rights of men for the suppression and control of his wife are supported including the use of force. In the family the boy receives certain standard of behavior and sustainable outlook on his role in the family. His future will depend on who was the head of his family, made the decisions, whether he was taught to debate, talk to relatives and respect them or he was taught the aggressive behavior. A lot of future offenders develop their own standards of behavior with their wife, based on childhood memories, observances, remembering that their mother and they were always submit to their father. That is why it is very important is while educating children to inculcate in them the culture of non-violence, good and warm relations, teach to listen and hear other people, to perceive differences not like aggressive that is need to put down but as something else, but which has no rights to exit.     

Is it possible to foresee the situation and avoid violence?

Practice shows that in many cases the woman foresees the aggression against her, but for some reason she is passive, instead of leaving the place and get away from violence and apply for help. It is important to understand that the ideal family is the family where both spouses work constantly.  First of all it is patience and respect. Remember: Never, under any circumstances do not put up with the role of victim. Woman doesn’t worth the life from beating to beating. There is no “small” violence; it is always on the rise. A man’s life is in his hands, it is necessary to make plans for the future, to change live for the better, and not to suffer in silence and living in fear. Oddly enough, but only the woman is able to break the terrible nodes that connect her with her tyrant husband. Because if you think about, it is much wiser to live in peace than constantly suffer from humiliation and insult.

What to do if the husband starts using his hands on the woman?
It is possible to offer some advices, if you are faced with domestic violence:
In any case do not let your husband to hurt you, do not show fear;
Do your best to find the strength to fight back;
Be confident, possess self-control and composure
If you have friends, ask them for the help;
Do not give in to provocation;
In any case do not response to aggression with aggression.
While communicating remain calm

If the fate ordered in such a way that your spouse is causing you pain, do not suffer from beating and humiliation, and make the decision.

If you do not have friends and relatives with whom you could share your family problems, fell free to ask for the help to the NGO “Sana-Sezim” on the phone – 8 (7252) 56-46-54

For the first six month of 2011 our center has received 552 calls (from men-16 calls, from women-536). The most often problems faced by women and children are harm to physical, mental and reproductive health; divorce proceedings, recovery the alimony; property division; establishment procedures for communicating with the child; deprivation, restriction of paternal rights, establishment of the fact of child birth and paternity.  

Farida Sharafutdinova.