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My husband is a chameleon

"Zamana", №10 (12) 2011

The young women named Nazira from Uralsk turned to our editorial office. Twenty-six years old women told us that the family problems were very oppressed her.

 “Six years since I got married, I have two children. My husband is chameleon. When he is sober, there is no better person than he is. And when he is drunk there is no worse person than he is, like he is another person. I feel that I live with two different men and I suffer from it. Last time I retreated into myself and I do not go out of the house, probably it affects to my psyche. Sometimes I want to cry, and hate myself. I want to divorce but do not want to deprive my children of their father. What can I do?”-she asks.

Vera Zakutnyaya the psychologist of NGO “Sana-Sezim” answered to this question:

-Unfortunately, such problems happen in many families. These problems have a negative effect on the mind of women.  As a result it is very difficult to make a decision, to find the solution of difficult situations, and sometimes according to women it is absolutely impossible. In such cases it is necessary to visit a psychologist and clear the mind. Psychologist can help you to find yourself and make the right decisions. 

If the family disputes are out of scopes, there is a possibility to apply to the department on protection of women from domestic violence, department of Internal Affairs and write the application. Since Desember 2009, in our country, the protection of women is taken under the special control. The Law on “Prevention of domestic violence” was adopted. According to the requirements of this Law, if a man treats with women roughly, threatens in this case he will be warned. In the case of repetition of illegal actions from the husband, he can be designated to 15 days of arrest. 

It is important to understand that to sit with folded hands it is not the solution, this unpleasant actions affects to the children. That is why it is important to turn to psychologists, and if you suffered the violence from your husband, learn to protect your rights and defend them.