Panorama Shymkent, 19/01/2007
E.Berdigalieva

   It was unexpected for me when I heard that the well-known filmmaker, Karen Shakhnazarov, recognized on television that her movie "American Daughter" had been based on her real life situation, where a woman abducted her four-year old daughter and took her away to America. This film finishes with a happy ending, the daughter and father meets later in Russia; however, this was not the case in the real story. What happens when a mother forcibly separates a father from a daughter? Who knows, but the implications of this in real life are heavy and deep.
   Recently, I was sad to hear of a 46-year old man, an Afghan veteran, who died of a heart attack. He lived with his mother, brother, and his family. The war had made a toll on his health and had broken his psyche. What followed was an addiction to alcohol. Family life suffered as well because of these things. His wife with a newborn child had gone to another region. The reasons behind his mental and psychological problems were partly hidden for a long time, which led to the failed private life. Unfortunately, he did not try to reconcile with his life and the distance between the father and the child affected his ability to return to normalcy. Some relatives sent a letter to the 20-year old son to inform him about his father's death. He arrived from Astana for the funeral and was surprised to see how many relatives had surrounded around his father. "Why did you not look for me? I could have helped him," he asked the relatives, but to speak of such things could do nothing.

   The next story is of a woman met on the train. Trains are good places for heart-to-hearts and people sometimes reveal what is happening in their lives. Her story is as follows… My husband drank all the time, but I didn't decide to divorce him until after 30 years of suffering. It was a scary experience, but his thirst for the spirits did not transfer to his son. He, fortunately, did not tolerate drinking or smoking. He married a sweet girl and had children, and I was able to dissolve my unpleasant memories. They were then able to settle into their own apartments and I lived alone. Everything in life was quiet and content.
   Her son had two children. They were nine and three years old when her daughter-in-law's twin sister died and left a four-year old son. The daughter-in-law had a dream where the deceased sister had asked her to take care of the child. This coincided with a desire she already had to take care of him. The father was an addict, and after such a dream, she was warned of the orphan hood of the child. The boy was no different from their own children: attentive, caring, and kind, but after the situation emerged other family members began to fret. It began to affect their marital happiness and prosperity. It was like a soap opera series. It is certainly the way of humanity to be so inscrutable. One can tell just by listening to the real-life stories of people.

   The next story involves criminality, but also involves a good neighbor and despite all odds success! A few years ago, Alimhan became acquainted with a girl. Their romance led to a wedding, but this prevented them from belonging to different religions and different nations. At this time their marriage had strength. Everything was good. They had two children, work, and were able to procure all their wishes. Unfortunately, after the fall of the Soviet Union, they had to leave for Israel, the historic home of the wife, to ensure their safety. This led to mutual misunderstanding and resentment. Alimhan did not think he would be able to get used to living away from his loved ones and realized that darting away to a life in a new country would be difficult mentally. Inevitably, Alimhan decided to move back to Kazakhstan to start his own business, while his wife stayed in Israel. His trip back to Almaty was initially safe. Afterwards he went back to his hometown. When he got there he was thrilled to see his family, his city, and began telling everyone about his life abroad and their problems. Casually in conversation he shared about his saving that he had earned to start a business. At times he would drink. He thought it was ok because these people were mostly friends and relatives. At one point he was struck with something hard and sharp in the head. After awhile he regained consciousness and found himself in the middle of a field, without belongings, documents, or money. Alimhan, with a severe headache, made his way to a nearby settlement. The man at the first place he found listened to his story without much sympathy. He apparently did not believe him. Then Alimhan suggested that he could earn some money to help him continue his journey. Alimhan recovered from his injury and began to clean the man's house, take care of the sheep, and other work. Then Alimhan found himself in a position where he started to become part of a terrible network phenomenon - the traffic where people are exploited, held captive, and forced into slave labor. He managed to escape and get to Shymkent. When he got there he was afraid to talk to people. He prepared to flee, but then he heard a voice that sounded familiar to him. It was a former classmate. They embraced and greeted and Alimhan told his friend of his terrible ordeal. His friend took him to his home, gave him clothes, and they began to look for Alimhan's relatives, but there was no one in town left. Alimhan was afraid to go to the police because he did not have his documents or permanent residence. Who knows what would have happened to Alimhan if his friends did not see a newspaper advertisement for an organization that helps people in crisis situations. Alimhan, with his friends, came to the Legal Center for Women's Initiatives "Sana Sezim", where he was listened to and provided legal and psychological assistance. The staff at "Sana Sezim" did everything in their power to rehabilitate Alimhan and to refer him to the appropriate law enforcement agencies to regain a passport and buy tickets back to Israel. His wife was overjoyed to have him back and they lived together again with their children and later grandchildren. While Alimhan did not want to reveal his feelings of weakness, you could see it in his eyes, full of tears, as he was handed his passport. It was an overwhelming sense of freedom as a free individual. Alimhan nearly lost everything, as he was almost sold into slavery. The staff at "Sana Sezim", with the financial support of the European Commission in Kazakhstan, has implemented the project "Stop human trafficking!". Call their hotline at 7 (3252) 56 27 32, for free and confidential assistance. Alimhan was fortunate that his friends saw their ad in the newspaper. Many strangers took part in the return of Alimhan to his loved ones! "From start to finish, unlike the movies, you can see there are many details in Alimhan's story," said Vera Zakutnyaya, a psychologist at "Sana Sezim", "…Unfortunately, not all cases end like his. Everything is not like the movies. It is easier to survive on film. In general, is it really only ourselves who are the masters of our destinies?